Stains and Pains
by dizzy - in - the - izzy
Summary: All because of some ketchup, a very well placed stain on Ziva's shirt causes quite the commotion in the bullpen. Basically humor and the team.


**Seeing as how I adore writing fics about our favorite NCIS team, I decided to write another one in good spirit. You know, because of the whole getting good internet thing. :) ****My last team fic, Her Boys, was a tad bit serious. It got so many reviews though. I still love that with all my heart, but this idea came to me in a flurry, and I just pumped it out. I enjoy humor. :D**

**More of friendship and cruel intentions in this. No McGee battering, or paper ball fights. :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this show, you know where'd I be? In LA, talking to my favorite people and planning a Tiva wedding, or possibly a baby. Maybe Jenny wouldn't be dead, and Ziva wouldn't be where she is right now and... sigh. I digress.**

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"It is not a stain."

"It so is a stain, Zee-vah. Look, it's a blob that looks like crap. So, a stain."

McGee looked up to see his coworkers walking in from getting lunch, and a very well placed stain caught his eyes. He looked away immediately, but Ziva caught him.

"Staring, McGee?" She asked, walking over to his desk. He tried not to look up at her as she put his burger on his desk, leaning down to his eye level.

"No, just glancing." He said, and she smirked. She patted his cheek before walking away, back to her desk.

"It's a stain Ziva." Tony said, throwing her a bag of chips. She caught them without looking, sitting down with a grin.

"Looking rather closely at it, are we Tony?" She asked, and he choked on his burger.

"You're wearing a purple top and a nice ketchup stain made its way onto it. Of course, I'm going to _see _it. It's like McGee in that blue costume for Halloween. Obvious." Tony said, taking another bite of his hamburger.

"Say's the man who hates Halloween." McGee said, and Tony threw a paper ball at him.

"Eat your food Probielicious, and leave me alone." He said, and Ziva laughed. She didn't bother to make a move to clean the stain, it was making too much of a ruckus. As men walked by, she could feel them staring at the bright red stain on her shirt. She didn't feel uncomfortable though. Who cared?

"You know, it's going to leave this huge brown spot. And then you'll really be sorry because everyone will be staring at your - ow!" Tony said, his hands going to the back of his head as Gibbs slapped him. He walked around the wall, stopping to look at Ziva. She was smiling at him, her burger halfway to her mouth.

"Yes?" She asked, and he smirked at her.

"Get that stain off your shirt." He said, and she shrugged.

"I do not mind." She said, and Gibbs quirked an eyebrow.

"You may not, but I'd rather have my agents. Not two horny dogs." Gibbs said. The reaction to his words was priceless.

McGee did a perfect spit take, spraying his entire desk with Mug Root Beer. He covered his mouth instantly, mumbling his apologies. Tony dropped his burger right into his lap, not even bothering to make a move to get the hot object away from his crotch. Barbeque sauce ran down his chin as he glared at Gibbs. Ziva started to laugh, setting her burger down as she covered her mouth with her hand. The way her arm crossed her chest, the stain wasn't visible.

"See, horny dogs." Gibbs said from his desk, watching as his two male agents scrambled to clean the mess they had made. Then, Gibbs smiled.

"Looks like now we all have stains." He said, and Tony cursed.

"On my new pants too. I liked these." He said, getting up and disappearing to the bathroom. A group of female interns laughed at him as he wobbled through the door. McGee was hurriedly trying to dry off his stuff, a blush covering his entire face. The poor younger agent was completely embarrassed, and Ziva could see it. She got up, picking up her napkins and brining them to him. She spread them out across the desk, smiling at him as he sighed in relief.

"Don't cry over spilt silk McGee." She said.

"Actually Ziva, it's milk, but you got close and whoa, what happened here?"

Abby had just walked into the bullpen, holding results of a blood test on a suspect. The sight she saw either disturbed her or made her want to laugh, she wasn't quite sure. But, Tony decided for her as he waddled back into the bullpen, his pants wearing a stain that looked as if he'd soiled his pants.

"Oh my gosh." She said before breaking into laughter. Gibbs watched as Abby and Ziva both laughed at the Senior Field Agent, and Tony grumbled.

"Great. I need my sweats." He said, grabbing them before walking back out. Gibbs shook his head as he left, and Ziva went to sit back down. Gibbs stopped her as she went, motioning her to come closer to his desk.

"Go remove that stain, and get DiNozzo back here." He said, and she nodded.

"On it." She said before picking up an extra NCIS shirt from behind her desk. She crossed the bullpen, opening the cabinet behind Tony's desk and throwing a clean white shirt at McGee. Abby took the Root Beer covered shirt McGee shed off, and she laughed as she thought about what Tony was doing with his pants, and what kind of conversations and rumors would spread from this incident.

Ziva wondered as she smiled knowingly at Abby: Should she ask Tony to get the stain off her shirt, and watch him stutter and make a fool of himself again? She smirked as more male agents looked at her as she made her way into the men's room. When she saw Tony, clad in sweat pants, grumbling as he folded his brand new jeans, she smirked.

Maybe messing with his head would be fun. After all, what male didn't pass up a good chance to help a woman clean a stain off her breasts?

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**So... tell me what you think? Favorite lines maybe? Haha, yeah. I'm all giggly from editing it. I know it's short and all, but it's just a fun filled little one shot to help you on your merry way. **

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated, and even if you didn't like, tell me. :)**

**Night, Izzy.**


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